How I ended up here

First Draft:
This is my first essay in college. I have chosen to write about the person that has changed my life because I never thought I would be where I am. It all started back in high school. I had met this amazingly cute guy named Danny. He was a bagger at the Food Lion down the street from my home. I always thought he had a good outlook on life and what he wanted to do with it. To me, he always looked down the road at the long term goals. I, however, lived for the here and now. I did great in school when I attended but that was the hard part for me. I was always looking for the fun things in life and did not care how I ended up because I thought that I would always bounce back and just be there somehow making do with what I had at the time. I had a very poor outlook on life and no set goals I was working towards. Sure, it's easy enough to tell people that “I wanna be...when I grow up” but to actually believe that's what I wanted was harder than that.
When we dated, he used to yell at me for not attending classes like I was supposed to. I always felt like such a terrible person and had those broken promises of going back the next day. I remember one day I had skipped classes yet again and he had caught me parked at a store while he was riding by on the city bus to work. He was always the stable one. I got in so much trouble but that wasn't the bad part. It was the fact that I knew I was not going to school and could have at least given him a ride to work but did not want to have him mad at me. I think back to that day a lot. Where were my priorities that day and any day at that matter. He always pushed for my education to better myself. Believe it or not, he actually married me after all that. He believed in me. I had dropped out of school at that point but he did push me to go back and finish. He never gave up on me. I eventually went back to night school and finished my high school diploma. Even though it was three years past my original graduation date it was still the happiest day for my mother, my husband, and me. Things in the marriage had been so rocky over the many years with us. Always up and down. It's funny because he always reminded me of something I said to him once a long time ago. “It's not how much you love someone but how much you can work through with that person.” I was so proud to have said something so inspiring creating such deep meaning to the person that meant the most to me. He helped me overcome a lot of obstacles in my life. I ended up relying on him so much that he was my backbone. Even though he helped me to learn to stand up for myself, I never truly did because I always knew he would always be there to do things for me. It is unfortunate to say that he is no longer a part of my life. I thought my world has ended. My best friend, husband, and backbone is gone. I never forgot what he taught me and realize that I was always capable of doing things myself. It was always within me. I just had to reach deep and find it. I had decided to finally go back to school. I still hold him in my heart and think back to the struggles with school in the past and how he always believed in me. I thank him for helping me to find the courage to do the things that are right for me. I can now say that my life has definitely changed because of him. I finally found the strength to stand up and truly do things on my own. Of course I still stumble along the way and still ask others for help, but I am doing it myself now. I don't go to him and ask him to find the answers for me anymore. I have found my very own backbone.

Revised Draft:
I have decided to write about the person that helped to change my life as my first essay. It all started back in high school where I had met this amazingly cute guy named Danny. He was a bagger at the Food Lion down the street from my home. I always thought he had a good outlook on life and how he wanted to pursue it. He always seemed to look down the road at the long term goals. I lived for the here and now. I was always looking for the fun things in life. It didn’t matter how I ended up because I thought that I would always bounce back. I always thought I’d just be there somehow making do with what I had at the time. I had a very poor outlook on life and no set goals that I was working towards. Sure it's easy enough to tell people that “I want to be a doctor when I grow up.” It was actually harder to believe that for myself.
Danny used to yell at me for not attending classes like I was supposed to. I did great in school when I actually showed up for class. I always felt like such a terrible person for those broken promises of going back the next day. I remember one day I had skipped classes yet again. He had caught me parked at a store while he was riding by on the city bus to work. He was always the stable one. I got in so much trouble but that wasn't the bad part. It was the fact that I knew I was not going to school. I could have at least given him a ride to work but didn’t want to have him mad at me. I think back to that day a lot. Where were my priorities on that day or any day for that matter? He always pushed for my education so I can better myself. Believe it or not he actually married me after all that. He believed in me. I had dropped out of school at that point because of a pregnancy, but he did push me to go back and finish. He never gave up on me. I eventually went back to night school and finished my high school diploma. Even though it was three years past my original graduation date it was still the happiest day for my mother, my husband, and me.
Things in the marriage had been so rocky over the many years with us. Always up and down. Every couple goes through those times. Without the downs then you couldn’t have the ups and the happy endings. It's funny because he always reminded me of something I said to him once a long time ago. “It's not how much you love someone but how much you can work through with that person.” I was so proud having said something so inspiring to create such a deep meaning to the person that meant the most to me. He helped me to overcome a lot of obstacles in my life. I ended up relying on him so much that he was my backbone. Even though he helped me to learn to stand up for myself, I never truly did because I always knew he would be there to do things for me. It is unfortunate to say that he is no longer a part of my life. I thought that my world had ended. My best friend, my husband, and my backbone was gone. I never forgot what he taught me and realized that I was always capable of doing things myself. It was always within me. I just had to reach deep within and find it.
I had decided to finally go back to school. I still hold him in my heart and think back to the struggles with school in the past. I remembered how he always believed in me. I thank him for helping me to find the courage to do the things that are right for me. I can now say that my life has definitely changed because of him. I finally found the strength to stand up and do things on my own. Of course, I still stumble along the way and still ask others for help, but I am doing it myself now. I don't go to him and ask him to find the answers for me anymore. I have found my very own backbone.
Danny and I still talk on a friendly basis. He heard that I enrolled into college. He told me, “I am so proud of you.” I said to him, “I just wanted to get a better job when I am done in a few years.” What I really wanted to say to him was that it was because of the separation. I really didn’t know what I was doing and I just wanted to keep busy. It did help to keep my mind off of things. I have to admit that it’s a difficult thing to work a full time job, raise three children, and go to school at night. My mother has been a great help though. She’s always been a person that encouraged school. She had a difficult life and wanted to do everything in her power to make sure her children led a better life. When I first wrote this essay, I was so proud to have written it that I allowed Danny to read it. He said, “You are giving me way too much credit.” I told him, “It is all true though and it’s what I feel.” He said,” It is really good.” I guess he was trying to be nice. I read it again and thought how stupid it really did sound. Now I just feel a little ashamed to even have allowed him to read my thoughts. He has come around a little bit and is now trying to help me. He said, “I want to help you with school. I hope you do really well. Let me know if you need any help with the kids or with any school work or anything.” I told him, “I’ve got this. I don’t ask for help and you know that but thanks anyways.” I guess I was still a little mad about everything and didn’t want to have to rely on him anymore. Since then I have allowed him to help on some things. He has watched the kids for me on off days so I can go to the library to study. I even had him come over to help me with my PowerPoint for my research presentation. He told me, “This is exciting. I’ve always loved doing projects for school and I English was one of my best subjects.” I was never any good at those things. He is the business person that deals with those things for his career. He was even concerned with how I did when I finally presented my PowerPoint. I probably will not allow him to read this revised version of my diagnostic essay but that’s because I should have known better the first time. I am doing well for myself now and I have come this far on my own. I don’t want to backtrack and rely on Danny anymore because I need to keep moving forward now.